A few weeks ago I shared some thoughts on “Love is patient” and I wanted to continue thinking on the verse and so I went to the next part, “Love is kind”. I asked friends on Facebook to share what they thought of when they read those words and most of the answers were names of people and/or actions people do.
That got me really wondering, “What does it mean to truly embrace this understanding that love is kind?” The simple answer is action; just simply doing something that matters for someone else. Showing kindness means thinking of someone else’s wants, needs, desires and doing something to help them. And it often is in the small things that we see evidence and really enjoy this kindness.
Doing the dishes or laundry for someone.
Cleaning your room without being asked.
Buying someone their favorite candy bar ‘just because’.
Sending a note to someone to let them know you love and appreciate them.
None of these things are hard to do. They don’t take a lot of effort or time, but they could mean the world to the person you are kind to.
Maybe they are tired from a long day of work and don’t really want to do any housework.
Or maybe they’re tired of nagging you to clean your room because they think you don’t listen.
Or maybe they’re just having a bad day and need some cheering up.
Or maybe they feel invisible, unsure if people really need them and whether they matter or not.
Everyone has been on both sides of this; either doing the act of kindness or needing an act of kindness. You would think we would see and hear about more kind acts across the globe because we know the feeling of gratitude and love we feel when someone does something kind for us.
As I wondered why “kindness” is sometimes a rare response; or at least something we don’t hear near enough about, my thoughts returned to the first phrase, “love is patient”. I already shared my struggle with patience (read here) and how we often don’t want to wait for something or we react out of frustration instead of patience. And when we act with impatience or responding out of frustration; kindness is not the result. We do not think of another, we simply struggle with our own feelings, wants and needs. Once I realized this, it made sense why kindness is sometimes rare.
The stories in the news today – murder, war, violence, hatred – all share a lack of love, patience, and kindness. There is a reason Paul begins with “Love is patient” in 1 Corinthians 13:4; without patience, there is no kindness. It is much harder to be kind to someone when you are frustrated or upset with them. When you are angry or hurt, your thoughts are closer to wanting revenge or justice than giving kindness.
This encourages me to try even harder to really be more patient. I do my best to show kindness to others, but I know there have been times where I did not want to be kind. And I felt horrible afterwards. Being unkind did not make me feel better, it didn’t make the anger or hurt go away. It simply piled on guilt and shame on top.
And so I am trying and will continue to try to pay attention to the way I respond to people. Love is patient. Love is kind. When I give myself time to be patient, I find much more joy in being kind. May I continue to be more like Christ in showing love, patience and kindness to those around me.
Just a few thoughts on this refreshing afternoon. What do you think?